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Dealing with relapse and feeling lostOpen in a New Window

My D was first diagnosed with anorexia 5 years ago, at age 14. Following a short hospitalization, we were able to successfully refeed her within a few months. We supervised her eating closely for a year, after which time it appeared that all restrictive behaviors and thoughts were well extinguished. She continued to suffer from major depression for several years, but by the time she graduated high school, her depression was well controlled. She went off to college a significant distance from home. We were nervous about the distance, but she completely her first year with great success, not just academically, but socially as well. She seemed to finally be thriving after many dark years. 

Sadly, she has just returned home for the semester break, and anorexia is back with a vengeance. She had to have her wisdom teeth removed just prior to the start of the semester, and was not completely healed when she returned to school. Her father and I believe that the difficulty eating as she recovered from the surgery triggered the return of restricting behaviors. We were too comfortable with her recovery, and after a successful transition to college, we let our guard down. Sending her back to school before we were sure she was eating fully let her fall down the rabbit hole. The distance to her school meant that we weren't able to keep an eye on what was happening. 

I'm at a loss as to my next steps. The last time we dealt with AN, my daughter was a minor and I had much more control over the situation. Now, dealing with a young adult, I feel powerless. I am sad and heartbroken, and not sure how to move forward. 


'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers


Discharge from UCSDOpen in a New Window

Hi! All,

Yesterday D was discharged from UCSD. My wife and I are so happy that D finally finished her 6 month treatment at UCSD. Today we are pretty busy with cleaning the apartment and will leave San Diego to have a vacation. I understand that so many families are still fighting with AN. I will want to give you a brief summary of the treatment results and will share more details about treatment in a future post. 

Our history please refer to this link. D is 19 years old and she relapsed before the college started. She finished her first year in college with our support. The whole process was very frustrated and depressing. Due to her low weight or other health condition, the college asked her to take ED treatment. She decided to go to UCSD to take the treatment this May. The treatment journey started from June 19 and ended on Dec. 15. It lasts about 6 months. She started from 10 weeks PHP program, then IOP, now it is outpatient program. She has been maintaining her weight and managing her food by herself for about 3 months.


Before Treatment

After Treatment


Lost 20 pounds (97 lbs)

Restored 20 pounds (120 lbs)


Stopped for 11 months

Resumed in Nov. and Dec.


Wanted to be a vegan

Very flexible, can eat various food like meat, fish, shrimp, cheese, ice cream etc.

Rigid Thinking

Very rigid about food and perfectionism

More open and less rigid. Can accept failures.


Long distance runner, excessive running

Switch to other activities like dancing, yoga, hiking etc.


Easy to get anger and depressing

Manage the emotions much better. Learned DBT to deal with anxiety and anger


Focus on specific types of friends

Open to more types of friends


Can’t focus on study due to AN

Finished 3 courses at UCSD with good scores

She is ready for going back to college again. I really appreciate the work of the therapist and dietitian at UCSD eating disorder center. They are the best. Without their efforts, all of these could not be achieved. 

If you are seeking for ED treatment, please consider UCSD as one of your choices.

Never give up!

Best wishes!




'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers




posted by request:

UCSF has a new treatment study examining the effectiveness of adaptive FBT for adolescent anorexia nervosa (ages 12-18 inclusive). For more information, contact Simar Singh at 415.476.0622, or Pic_Adaptive_Flyer-UCSF.jpg You can also visit, or see flyer below.


'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers


Researchers seek eating disorder patients to answer questions about treatment satisfactionOpen in a New Window


posted by request:

Brief (5-minute) survey to ask about current/recent treatment experiences and their helpfulness.

This study is about the treatment of eating disorders and the care that individuals with eating disorders are receiving currently or in the past. To help gain further insights into this area you will be asked to answer several questions. Your participation is voluntary and is anonymous. The data you will provide will be recorded anonymously and your participation will be held in the strictest confidence. 

Your participation in this study is on a voluntary basis, and you may refuse to participate at any time without consequence or prejudice. Any questions about your rights as a research subject may be directed to Dr. Ashley Higgins, 

If you wish to participate, please see the following link:


'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers


This is just beyond tragicOpen in a New Window


'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers


EmergencyOpen in a New Window

Hi, I posted a few days ago for the first time. My daughter is now 8 weeks into the ED but has lost a lot of weight rapidly. She was told by her Paediatirican yesterday that she must stick to the meal plan or be admitted to hospital if there is further weight loss by Monday. Until now we had not taken charge enough (she had been existing on around 1/4 of what she should be eating is my guess) and we started this last night. We managed to plate up her dinner and put a normal portion on for the first time. She ate and drank nothing. At snack time, I gave 3 choices and she sat down but refused them all. She got a small (low calorie) yoghurt drink from the fridge and we took it off her. She was upset and then calmed down enough to drink a cup of tea. She had a couple of spoons from the bowl of yoghurt I spooned out. We were upset but felt this was progress as we had remained in control. Her meal plan consists of cereal and toast for breakfast. She ate the cereal but has refused a snack, lunch and the afternoon snack. She has probably had enough to drink. Our Paediatrician has told us to bring her to hospital if she doesn’t eat anything for 24 hours. I am feeling very scared. It felt so wrong to take the yoghurt drink off and we have got rid of them now. It seems to me that the ED is always easy step ahead of us. Has anyone else had this much resistance to the parents taking control?


'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers


Gifts for therapists - Yes or No?Open in a New Window

Would you even consider a small gift for a therapist who has carried you through the year? Even though daughter is not cured, I have been helped so much - Yes or No , is it just not the done thing? Unprofessional to accept , unwanted etc????


'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers


Christmas in treatment?Open in a New Window

Wondering how you lovely people have managed dealing with Christmas while your child is in a treatment centre.  Our d is currently in treatment and will not be eligible for a Christmas Day pass.  She has never been away form home for the holiday before.  We are allowed to go do a 2 hour visit on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing day.  D is upset by this but seems to be managing/accepting at this time.  What I am wondering is how you and your families managed.  I am having a really hard time keeping up and trying to keep things as close to normal as I can for our other d.  I am currently managing though it gets harder every day we get nearer the holiday and I realize my dear d won't be home with us.
How have you coped?


'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers


I feel so overwhelmedOpen in a New Window

Discovered uneaten lunch in the bin. D 16 ( dx Ednos restricting and purging) and BDD 2015/2016 recovered 2016 and discharged July 2017 from ED and declared recovered from BDD August 2017. Weight higher than had ever been. Eating well. Saw some BDD and anxiety recently but thought ED was in the past. D also has ASD so anxiety a given. D admitted has been dumping lunch. Handed over some hidden lunchboxes from her drawers. Not lost weight. Feel sick. I thought we were doing so well. She had also school refused for some of year 10 and year 11 but managed to get her EHCP and into small independent college with small class sizes this year. For sixth form. She has gone to college most days, some anxiety but not levels of previously. I’m out of energy


'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers


Informationen über FBT und Maudsley Therapie auf DeutschOpen in a New Window

Liebe Eltern aus Deutschland,
wenn ihr bis hierhin gefunden habt, ist ein großes Stück Weg geschafft und ihr werdet sicher Hilfe finden. Für diejenigen, die in der englischen Sprache nicht so fit sind oder Informationen auf Deutsch suchen, schaut bitte mal hier:

Ergänzungen sind jederzeit willkommen!


'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers


ChristmasOpen in a New Window


I know this is a bit premature, but my D is getting very anxious about Christmas and food. She did have a tendency to binge and purge before we began treatment and we obviously don't want this to continue. As I have posted previously, we are still in the early stages of recovery and she is not gaining weight. Has anyone had experience of this and support for how we get through the Christmas period? We have three other children, so it will be difficult to not have extra food in the house.

Thank you



'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers


Should I taker her to hospital?Open in a New Window

So, we were doing ok, D was fairly compliant until yesterday when it was very difficult to get her dinner into her. Today she decided that she will only eat what she wants to eat.
She has had:1 banana, 250g sourdough bread with flora and nutella, 350ml hot chocolate, 1 full fat yogurt and 1 cup orange juice. She has refused her ensure.

Her dad and me have remained calm and insistent. She has just spent an hour sitting rigidly, and only when i said I would get her into the car, then she went with her dad to the kitchen for the hot chocolate.

Should I take her to hospital?


'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers


FBTOpen in a New Window


I'm new here, but wondered if someone could help. My daughter has been having FBT for around 6 weeks now. Although some things have improved she has not gained any weight. We are from England and she had a care team. I think I am doing everything right at home, but not sure why it is not helping.


'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers


Beginning re-feeding questionOpen in a New Window

Hi all, our college d was just diagnosed with AN.  She got a medical emergency release from her college so that she could finish her finals here at home.  She has been home for a week and we have a treatment plan in place.  She met with the dietitian yesterday and was completely overwhelmed by the meal plan.  Dairy upsets her stomach and she has never liked any meat except for chicken (believe me, I have been making LOTS of chicken).  The good news is that she is able to eat with us now (in October she could not sit down and eat with anyone).  She really wants to get better.  This past week she has been eating 3 meals a day, but she doesn't want to snack/supplement.  Does anyone have any suggestions?  Any great recipes for sneaking in fat or protein?  I know that recovery is a long process and we are just at the beginning of it. Thank you for any advice that you can give.


'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers


need advice on refeedingOpen in a New Window

Hi there,

my 13-year-old daughter has developed AN last summer. She has just come out from a 3wks in hospital.
In hospital she was very brave at following the meal plan.

She came out only yesterday and immediately after 12 hours at home she started refusing food, skipping meals! Today we only managed to feed her 2 meals.

The difficulty we have is that she shuts down, does not talk to us and refuses to move when we ask her to eat.

How do you do it guys? I can persuade my daughter to eat if she does not do or say anything?! 




'Around the Dinner Table' Online Forum for Parents and Carers

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